Send in the Idiots by Kamran Nazeer

Author:Kamran Nazeer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Hewer Text UK Ltd
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2010-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Craig had moved to standing with his back against the tree. He was pretending that he was pausing longer only to look at the moon. I shouldn’t have been surprised by the onset of his anxiety, but I was. I’d seen him impress the senatorial aide on the steps outside Columbia Library. He was very fluent on the telephone. And so, even though he’d told me about not being able to deliver the graduation speech in high school, though he’d told me about how quietly college went, though he’d told me about the interview in which he started drumming, I was surprised that we were still by the tree and I realized that I had opted for the optimistic version. Craig was obviously a high-functioning autistic person. Autism is a spectrum and Craig was on a different point of it to both André and Randall. But I needed not to forget that he was nevertheless on it.

I was anxious too. I was anxious that a discerning someone at the party would out us as Democrats. I was anxious to be wearing suede shoes. And now I was anxious about being Craig’s chaperone. It wasn’t a role that I had ever played. I had watched Amanda do it with André. I had watched Mike do it with Randall. It was something that other people did with me. I had self-appointed big sisters all through high school and college. I relied on other people to introduce me and bring me into conversations. I relied on other people turning up at my door and making sure that I went to the party after all. I had no experience of being the carer.

I was afraid that anything that I might say to Craig would sound patronizing. I’d thought that of things other people had said to me. But they were welcome nonetheless. So I said, ‘Let’s set some targets. For example, whenever we get into a row about energy policy up there, as soon as the discussant mentions drilling in Alaska, that’s a point.’

Craig smiled. ‘I like that.’

‘Will you keep score?’ I asked, trying to draw him further into the game.

‘As soon as they say tax cuts stimulate the economy, that’s a point,’ he suggested.

‘Half a point. Otherwise, it’s too easy.’

‘OK, OK. As soon as they make the Bush–Reagan comparison, that’s a point.’

‘That’s definitely a point. Agreed. And any accusations of Democrat voter fraud, that’s a point.’

‘The country’s ripe with it; you know that, don’t you?’ he asked me, smiling now.

‘Individuals giving money through the Internet. Can you imagine? How are corporations supposed to keep a grip on their candidates?’

Craig laughed. ‘That’s a point.’

I had no idea what to do next. This was a fun conversation but it wasn’t necessarily going to get us up the remainder of the driveway to the house with the blazing bulbs so we could use our plush invitation cards. Craig hadn’t moved. His animation was limited in its effect to the ideas he was generating. Finally, I started walking.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.